


narcissus

by hikouki



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikouki/pseuds/hikouki
Summary: Shin-ah resents the dragon’s eyes, sometimes.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	narcissus

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The world of _Akatsuki no Yona_ and its characters are not mine.

Shin-ah resents the dragon’s eyes, sometimes. 

They’re camped in the mountains today, on a flowery plateau high above the plains. Jaeha and Yun are off buying supplies, Yona and Hak off hunting (“they’d better be necking,” Jaeha says uncharitably), Zeno and Kija are pottering around somewhere doing miscellaneous chores. Shin-ah wandered off earlier, enjoying being able to see far in the distance, enjoying the riot of colours, so different from the dusty roads they’ve been traversing this past week – and found a tiny pool, bracketed by shocks of colourful blooms. He’s been sitting beside it for a while, gazing at his reflection.

The narcissi catch his eye. The innocent, delicate-looking flowers, nodding sweetly over their reflections, seem to be common to the area. Yona had pointed it out the previous day when they’d stopped to refill their canteens at a stream. In a land far away, it was said that a youth who’d fallen in love with his reflection had been turned into this flower as a punishment for his vanity, and so gazed at himself for eternity. Zeno was quick to pipe up that in another land, they were representative of beautiful eyes, with a quick sideways glance at Shin-ah, turning the group’s attention to him. He’d flushed bashfully, and it had slipped from his mind as they trudged on; but now, it floated unbidden to the forefront of his thoughts. 

He lifts his mask from his face. The blood-red marks, eerie enough on their own, draw the eye irresistibly to the dragon’s eyes, which glow inhumanly in the fading light, like a tiger’s in the night. They’re intoxicating in their otherworldliness, and immediately mark him as other. He resents the attention they bring; he attracts too much with the mask, but it’s better than the alternative. None of the other dragons have to deal with this. Perhaps Kija and Jaeha, but their dragon abnormalities are far subtler than his. 

How did the first blue dragon warrior feel about their eyes? Zeno had mentioned his name – Abi. How did he feel about the attention? Did he cover his eyes? Did the Seiryuu eyes cause him as much pain as they've done Shin-ah, and Ao, and all his predecessors? 

If he covered them, then he was probably abused or targeted because of them. Did something like that ever happen? Shin-ah should ask Zeno. Lord knows he’s suffered for the Seiryuu eyes – Kija looks physically pained every time he’s reminded of Shin-ah’s treatment back home (the village, he forcibly corrects himself; he’s making a new home for himself now), Yona quietly furious; and the looks on the others’ faces aren’t much better. Jaeha looks sympathetic, which causes something in Shin-ah’s chest to clench. Zeno wears a weary and distant look, tinged with guilt, that he tries to hide behind a smile and fails.

How did Seiryuu Abi become the blue dragon, anyway? How did he feel when he drank the dragon's blood? What was his life like before it? Why did the dragon choose him, and how exactly did it happen? How on earth did that feel, and why would anyone accept such an offer? Did he have an inkling of the consequences? How tempting an offer could it have been? Why did he drink it? 

Shin-ah is not prone to feeling resentful – he’s learned to accept his lot in life, and serving Yona is an unprecedented blessing and a delight every day, and he’s grown to love their happy hungry band – but today, so soon after the incident with the spirit of his predecessor... well, he’s feeling a bit sensitive. That the Blue Dragon has such a legacy of suffering – he felt the depth of Haru’s anger, regret, shame. The unfulfilled passion of all the past Seiryuus. 

(And he caused a lot of trouble with his good intentions – he hit Kija, ruined the tent and made work for Yoon, and spoke quite badly to his dear friends. Made them worry. Especially Yona.)

Shin-ah's better off than most of his ancestors, he suspects, but even he would like an answer from Seiryuu Abi.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "rage against the reflection". Not much rage in here though. I've been sitting on this since August... Maybe it could be a little more polished but I got fed up with myself and posted it. xD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the fic! Comments are greatly appreciated <3


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